


wishbone

by sanetoshiapologist



Category: Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu | The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi
Genre: F/M, Graduation, Moving On, Multichapter, Post canon, angsty, one-sided kyon/haruhi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-17 03:58:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2295815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanetoshiapologist/pseuds/sanetoshiapologist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I knew that Haruhi's schemes rarely weren't somewhat questionable, but running away the night before graduation? Count me out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

your skin and every inhalation of the muggy spring air feels like an eternity and you can't help but feel like you're Sisyphus pushing a boulder up a hill in field of damnation.

Good old North High- freezing in the winter, freakishly hot in the beginning of March.

And so, the usual crew, minus Asahina, trudged to the clubroom at the remotest corner of the building, which was predictably devoid of any visible sign of air conditioning. Panting like the slaving dogs we were, Koizumi and I plopped down in our usual seats and pulled out our shogi board, content to loll around and fan ourselves with floppy magazines in a half-hearted attempt to keep cool.

"Wish we had some of Asahina's iced tea to keep us cool," Koizumi said, annoyingly chipper as always.

Nagato, reliably blasé as usual, sat underneath the blistering sunshine, poring through a mystery novel.

I suddenly felt a pang of envy at her short skirt and exposed legs, glancing down at my rolled-up sleeves. It goes without saying that I suppressed this thought immediately, just in case Haruhi spontaneously developed powers of telepathically and was inexplicably struck with the notion that cross-dressing was to be our next club activity.

The mental image of Koizumi in Asahina's bunny suit sent a shudder rippling through my body.

Right on cue, the door was flung open with unnatural gusto, the bane of my existence herself charging forward. "Alright, alright, guys, time to get to work!"

Nagato barely spared her glance, Koizumi yawned and continued to fan himself with his newsletter, and I, thoughtful as ever, managed a grumble in greeting.

Haruhi made a face at us. "What's gotten into you all today?"

Being the unsung spokesperson of the SOS Brigade, I, of course, had to be the one to admonish her. "We just finished exams yesterday, Haruhi, and graduation's in two days. Can't you give us a break for once?"

But she only fumed, storming over to her commander's chair in front of our stolen computer. "I can't believe you guys," she huffed. "The fact that we're graduating soon makes this even more important. Don't you guys want to have fun? Our lives are just gonna be boring from here on out, so we gotta live it up while we can!"

"Whatever do you mean?" Koizumi asked, pleasantly enough considering the strained look on his face. I felt an overwhelming surge of pity; the prospect of a perpetually bored Haruhi was not particularly tantalizing, especially for the bottom-feeders who had to stumble along, cleaning up the mess she left in her destructive wake.

"Oh, you know full well what I'm talking about!" she said vehemently, making wide, sweeping gestures. She zeroed in on me. "You're going to the community college, aren't you, Kyon?"

Me? What was she putting  _me_  on the spot for? "Um, yeah. Your point being?"

"Well, what do you intend to do after that?"

Haruhi was acting uncharacteristically like my mother. "I dunno, get a job, I guess? Just what any other guy would do."

"Aha!" She sprang to her feet, jabbing a finger in my face. "That's just it! 'Just what any other guy would do,' right? I can practically spell your entire life out for you- you'll graduate with average grades, become an accountant or something stupid like that, get married to a boring girl, yada yada yada. You're going to spend your days as a bystander, and you don't even care?"

"Well, not everyone can be as brilliant as you, Ms. Tokyo-U," I said airily, raising an eyebrow at her. "Frankly, I don't see what's so wrong with being normal. There wouldn't be maniacs like you if all of us were so hopelessly interesting."

"He has a point, Suzumiya-san," Koizumi added, not unkindly.

She heaved a sigh, slumping dejectedly in her chair. "I just wish it wasn't so hot," she whined. "Really, the next step in human evolution would be to evolve built-in ice cream cones or something. Seriously, universe, make it happen!"

If only you knew, Haruhi.

* * *

"Suzumiya-san was rather agitated today, don't you think?" Koizumi remarked as we were walking home.

I rolled my eyes. "And I think the sun has risen. Haruhi  _is_ Haruhi, after all." Fortunately, now that the sun was dipping below the horizon, the heat had let up, a welcome gust of wind blowing by.

The coy smile never left his face. "Really? I think today was a special case."

I shot him a reproachful look. "What's so funny? If you've got something to say, spit it out."

"I have no idea what's you're talking about," he said, innocuously enough, but I wasn't fooled.

"Honestly, Koizumi. I think I know you well enough by now."

The pleasant smile melted off his face, replaced by an expression of pure exhaustion. Koizumi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I should've known better than to think I could fool you."

"Well, it has been three years," I said lightly, "so I like to think I'm used to your insanity. Even so, give me a moment to brace myself, will you?"

He obliged, allowing me a few seconds to run through all the possible scenarios. Another distortion in time? A displeased Data Integration Thought Entity?

"There's been an increase in the amount of closed space lately," he said uneasily. "Everyone in the Organization is deployed at the moment, and even then we're struggling to keep up. They just keep popping up in the most obscure of places, and well…let's just say I'll be glad when graduation is over."

Of course. Haruhi causing trouble again, leaving poor Koizumi to grovel at her feet. What could possibly be the matter now? Haruhi Suzumiya was practically a celebrity at North High, an enigma that danced from boy to boy, an all-around genius lauded by the teachers that clamored to write her recommendations to universities and sought after by sports teams and art clubs alike, with the glowing pride of her family and a one-way ticket to Tokyo-U to obliterate anything standing in the way of her impending success.

"So you think it's graduation?" I asked, grudgingly curious.

"Well, yes- partly so," Koizumi replied. "It's a stressful time for all of us, what the excitement of graduating and all. As for Haruhi's case...there may be something else weighing on her mind."

"Well?" I said impatiently. "Don't leave me hanging!"

"If you must know," Koizumi said, as uncertain as I'd ever seen him, "I've hypothesized that the root cause of Haruhi Suzumiya's frustration is…you."

"Me?" I gaped at him. "What the hell did  _I_ do?"

"Nothing specific, really," he said quickly. "It's more like the fact that you exist."

"So what you're trying to say is that I have to off myself so Haruhi doesn't subconsciously destroy the world?"

Koizumi exhaled. "If only it were that simple," he said morosely, "but alas, it is not. To put it in simple terms: Haruhi is irrevocably in love with you."

No. No way.

I had had it with this conversation. "You have got to be kidding me," I said scathingly. "I'm nothing but a crutch to Haruhi! There's no way that's true."

"No need to be so modest, Kyon," Koizumi said, lips quirking into a little smirk. "And really, my jokes aren't quite that grave. Haruhi's feelings are no laughing matter, you know."

Yeah, Koizumi, when you  _are_  joking. Most of the things that came out his mouth were unintelligible and way over my head, revelations and hypotheses that were far too complex for me to wrap my mind around. Me, a normal human, a mere roadblock in the way of the cyclone that was Haruhi Suzumiya? Completely unfathomable.

"Haruhi has always been a bit of an anomaly," Koizumi said wearily, "especially when it comes to you. You've been the one person she's been able to fall back on, and now, with two days left of senior year, she's running out of time. She's still coping with the idea of losing you to the flow of the world, and if the amount of closed space crowding out the city is any indication, she's completely stressed-out over it. It's difficult for her to comprehend, that you'll no longer be her loyal follower, but a mere human, swept along by society. As she so aptly put it, a bystander."

"Well, when you put it like that, it makes me sound like a criminal!" I huffed. "Way to guilt-trip me, Haruhi. What does she want me to do, anyways? Go bohemian with her and live as a starving artist? Like hell I will."

"Well, a full scholarship to Tokyo-U is hardly bohemian," Koizumi quipped.

"Exactly! The great Haruhi Suzumiya is nothing but a hypocrite," I said reproachfully, "but when has she ever been logical? Okay, fine, I get the problem. Now, if I know you as well as I think I do, I'm gonna say that you expect me to do something about it. Well?"

"Your intuition is uncanny," he said, bemused. "As for my opinion? I'll stick to what I've told you a million times: date her."

"With two days left until graduation? No way," I scoffed. "And Haruhi as a girlfriend? I'd rather you stuffed me into Tartarus and left me to rot!"

Koizumi heaved a sigh. "I thought you might say that. But, as it is, my point stands. You're the reason why she's come so undone, there's no question about that."

Come undone. Funny, I thought of Haruhi as exactly the opposite; to me, she was a ball of yarn, composed and immaculate on the outside, but knotted underneath the neat spools of thread, always waiting for me or Koizumi or Nagato to unravel her and clean up the chaos she left in her awake.

But as usual, the enigmatic Haruhi Suzumiya, with her insatiable thirst for adventure, for the unattainable, wouldn't let me in.


	2. Chapter 2

The sky was a pale lilac streaked with orange and pink by the time I trudged my way to the front porch, fumbling with the key for a moment before the door burst open. I stumbled inside, dumping my schoolbag in the foyer with a groan. High school teachers were slave drivers, and that was that, I thought, slipping out my shoes and padding to the living room.

My sister was reclining on the couch, lollipop clamped in her mouth and fashion magazine in hand. Idly flipping through the glossy pages of midriff-baring idols, she barely spared me a glance. "Get me my bike," she commanded, removing the candy with a little "pop."

I arched an eyebrow at her. No hello to her dear brother? Typical, I supposed, for a teenaged girl. Had I ever been that inconsiderate? Probably. "At this hour? It's crazy hot outside."

She kicked her sock-clad feet onto the armrests of the couch. "Did I ask for your opinion? Get me my bike, Kyon."

"Don't you have work?" I pressed, leaning against the television stand.

Her lips quirked into an irritating smirk. "Last day was today," she informed me, a bit smugger than necessary, twirling a curl of chocolate-brown hair between her fingers, "so I'm pretty much off the hook. Jealous, brother?"

I rolled my eyes. "You middle schoolers have it easy. Why don't you be nice to poor Kyon just this once?"

She snorted. "Yeah, right. Hurry up and get the bike."

I braced my hands in surrender. "Yeah, yeah, princess." It was remarkable, really, how little respect I got from pretty much everyone. Still miffed, I reluctantly crossed the empty kitchen (our parents, almost never home, had once again gone out for dinner) and slid open the screen door, stepping into the backyard. Swatting at a particularly persistent mosquito, I flung open the shed door, expecting only the usual stacks of boxes and abandoned lawn mowers to be lying in wait.

Instead, what I got was a mini-loft complete with a cot, paraffin stove, bookshelf, and of course, the cherry on top: Miss Yuki Nagato, perched on top of a box labeled "Christmas Decorations."

To say that I was flabbergasted would be a grave understatement.

"N-Nagato?" I could only gape.

"Good evening, Kyon," she said politely, sipping from a thermos.

"You're in my garden shed, and you- and that's what you think to say?" I spluttered. "Never mind that. Could you at least tell me why you're here?"

"I don't see the need," she replied. "Koizumi has explained everything already."

"So this is about how Haruhi's bad mood is because of me, isn't it?" I groaned. "I knew you guys were batshit insane, but to think you'd actually camp out in my backyard? I suppose you have an explanation for this?"

"The Data Integration Thought Entity requested that I do so," Yuki said simply, as if discussing the weather. "It has identified you as the threat, and wishes me to remain in close quarters so I may observe you. Termination may be inevitable."

I thought of her fight with Asakura, and shuddered. As much as I had grown attached to her over the past three years, there was no guarantee she felt the same way. I did not doubt for a moment that she had no qualms about killing me in cold blood.

""What if my sister finds out?" I hissed. "What about my _parents_?"

"The bike is outside," she replied, turning back to her murder mystery.

* * *

With the added pressure of a reasonably attractive girl camping out in my backyard shed, it was with reluctance that I trudged in for the final day before exams. Much to my dismay, Haruhi had not lost any of her previous zeal in the last stretch of cram week; in fact, it seemed as if she had only grown in agitation.

"We're gonna party it up from here on out!" she commanded, waltzing into first period and joining me by my window. It was a cruel twist of fate that we had ended up in the same class for three years in a row- or, if Koizumi's theory was indeed correct, however queasy it made me feel, she had willed it to happen.

"Oh, joy," I mumbled, exchanging a look with Taniguchi.

How would one go about asking Haruhi on a date anyways? She didn't strike me as the romantic type, so flowers and compliments definitely wouldn't do the trick. Brutal honesty, then?

Damn my curiosity.

"Hey, Haruhi," I said nonchalantly. "If anyone were to ask you out...how would you want them to do it?"

As expected, this question hardly seemed to faze her. "Well, of course, I'd want them to man up and say it to my face!"

"But you dumped all of those guys in middle school," I prodded. "They did it in person, didn't they?"

"Well, not all of them," she said thoughtfully. "Some of them just asked me through the phone. But nevertheless...it takes guts to ask someone out. I guess I felt bad about saying no at first? That was probably it."

If I actually was the reason for Haruhi's irritation, which would inevitably lead to the world's demise, if Nagato's unexpected presence was any indication...could finally taking Koizumi's oddball advice be the answer?

"Alright, class, settle down," Hanekawa-sensei, our homeroom teacher, strode in, shutting the door behind her. Once we had finally settled down, she regarded us solemnly over her horn-rimmed spectacles, the line of her mouth drawn taut. "In less than twenty-four hours, you will all have graduated and become full-fledged members of society, leaving behind the place that has been a sort of second home to you for the past three years. There will be expectations of you, new constraints, new rules. But with that comes freedom, will, choice. It is up to you- will you use or abuse your new privileges? Will you choose to become respectable adults, to contribute to the growth of society?"

I could feel Haruhi trembling behind me, every fiber of her being shoved into a container much too confining for the spirit it held. As much as I willed myself not to look, I couldn't resist taking the littlest peek at her; she was practically smoldering, her chocolate brown bangs hanging in front of her eyes, lips parted.

"It was my greatest pleasure to have known you all," Hanekawa-sensei continued, oblivious to the storm that was brewing in the back of her classroom, "and I can only hope you can continue the lifelong journey of learning you began here at North High. Would anyone like to share some thoughts with us?"

Haruhi stood up, her chair screeching in protest as it scraped against the tiled floor.

The class simultaneously sucked in its breath; three years together had taught us how to brace for the hurricane that was Haruhi Suzumiya.

"Yes, Suzumiya?" Hanekawa-sensei flicked a hand in her direction, completely unfazed.

"Bullshit," she breathed.

"Pardon me?" Hanekawa-sensei raised a delicate brow at her.

"Bullshit, all of it!" Haruhi shouted, and it was with a start that I noticed the tears in the corner of her eyes. And then, all of sudden, she didn't look so defiant anymore, only tired and defeated. "I've...I've had enough."

Without warning, she darted out of the classroom, slamming the door behind her.

It was dead silent for a moment. No one was sure just how to react.

Once I had fully registered what had just happened, I clambered to my feet, ready to chase after her, but Taniguchi tugged me back down before I could take more than two steps. "Leave it, Kyon," he said quietly, shaking his head.

"Taniguchi is quite right," Hanekawa-sensei said icily. "It's not your responsibility to clean up after Suzumiya's messes. It would be best for you to focus on your studies rather than her childish temper tantrums."

I obediently sat back down, fisting my hands in my slacks.

Because in the end...wasn't Hanekawa-sensei right? Why did I feel such an overwhelming urge to go after her, when my entire high school life had been ruled by her whims, her impulses? What did I owe the selfish brat who had always ordered me around like I was her personal slave, the root of all evil and personal threat to my very existence?

But then I remembered the tears in her eyes, Koizumi's words.

_Haruhi is irrevocably in love with you._

* * *

When break time rolled around, I slipped out of the classroom and to the back courtyard, overwhelmed by my sense of growing guilt. Everywhere around me were students stretching and enjoying the pleasant morning sunshine, relishing the brief respite from the endless mantra of  _study, study, study._

As to be expected, Haruhi was sitting with her back to a tree trunk, picking petals off of the fallen flowers.

"Hey," I said tentatively, crouching down besides her and nudging her arm. "You alright?"

She glanced up to glower at me, absolutely pulverizing the blossom in her hands. "Go away."

"I mean, you do seem rather busy, personally victimizing that flower and all."

My feeble attempt at humor failed to get even a smile out of her.

"Fine, then." I bristled, standing up and brushing the dust off of my slacks. "It's clear you don't want to-"

Her hand lashed out and snagged onto the edge of my shirt.

"I always thought that I was special," Haruhi said softly, staring at a patch of yellowed grass. "Like I was different from all the zombies around me. But in the end...I'm nothing but a spoiled brat. Where's my miracle, my adventure? Isn't life...isn't life supposed to mean something?

She trembled, eyes welling up with tears once more. "I envy you, sometimes, how you're able to accept it so easily. Haven't you ever wanted to leave your mark on the world, Kyon? Don't you want to be remembered?"

"Actually, that would sort of be a nightmare," I said, in complete earnest. "I mean, the greatest mark a mediocre guy like me could leave is the trail of failed pop quizzes I've left in my wake."

"Typical." She let out a watery chuckle.

The bell rang, prompting a groan as everyone trudged back inside, casting one last mournful look at the sunshine and blue sky, our one last day of freedom.

Haruhi leapt to her feet, all signs of her previous gloom completely gone. She beamed at me, placing her hands on her hips. "Well, we better get going! Don't want to be late to the party, right?"

"By that, you mean Nostalgia 101 with Hag Hanekawa, don't you?" I said morosely.

"Psh, yeah, same difference." She held out a hand to me. "Come on, slow poke. Get moving."


	3. Chapter 3

"Fifty-seven closed spaces in just the last two hours," Koizumi informed me on the way home from school. "If this goes on any longer, I might just get a migraine."

"Can espers even get migraines?" I asked, uncomfortably aware of Nagato trailing behind us just a short distance away.

"Exactly my point. Haruhi makes the impossible happen." Koizumi hesitated, a mysterious glint in his eyes. "Speaking of which, I heard about her little episode today-"

"-during which I was gallant enough to chase after her," I finished irritably. "Sorry, Koizumi, but I've exceeded my daily Haruhi tolerance limit. I mean, it's the night before graduation. Can't she give it a rest for once?

"Sometimes," Koizumi said softly, "it's easy to think that someone has it all. But in the end...do we really know what they're wishing for? Can any of us honestly say that we know Haruhi Suzumiya?"

"Koizumi, what the hell are you going on about?"

"Haruhi's just a girl. Not an enigma or a distortion or a cyclone, like we've chosen to see her all of us this time." He shook his head mournfully. "And that, Kyon has been our mistake all along."

* * *

That night, I awoke to a sharp rap on my window. Bolting to a sitting position, I realized with a jolt that it was still nighttime.  _12:03_ , my clock read, a glaring red blur on my nightstand.

Heart pounding in trepidation, I slid off my bed and tentatively shuffled to the window, gaping when I found myself just inches away from a very familiar pair of brown eyes.

"Took you long enough," Haruhi said, her voice muffled by the glass. "Come on, Kyon, let me in!"

Once I had fully registered what had just happened, I obliged, albeit reluctantly. "Haruhi, what the hell are you doing here?" I hissed, shooting a furtive glance behind me. "My sister is right across the hall and if she finds out about this-"

"God, you are just  _so_ boring." She rolled her eyes, insufferable as always. "Where's your sense of excitement?"

What the hell was she up to now? One last joke to bestow upon the world before she-

I remembered Koizumi's words, and promptly stopped that train of thought.

"Well, are you gonna keep a lady waiting out in the cold? Hurry up and help me in!" Haruhi commanded. When I stood resolutely in place, she made a strangled noise of impatience. "Alright, fine. Looks like I'll have to do it myself!"

And, before I could protest, she had tumbled into my room, landing on the carpeted floor with a thud. "Ouch," she mumbled, gingerly shifting into a sitting position.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?" I said incredulously.

She huffed, haughtily crossing her arms over her chest. "Oh, come off it! If you'd just helped me, that wouldn't even have-"

A light was flicked on the hallway, glowing through the tiny opening between my closed door and the wooden flooring. A pair of pink bunny slippers were just visible from underneath. "Kyon?" my sister said groggily, suppressing a yawn. "What was that noise?"

I practically pounced on Haruhi, clamping a hand over her mouth. "Oh, that?" I let out a nervous laugh, my voice pitched two octaves higher than usual. "I, um, fell off my bed. Sorry for waking you."

"Oh, if that was all…" she trailed off, sounding thoroughly unconvinced. Fortunately, however, she seemed too tired to interrogate me further and settled for shuffling away. Moments later, the space beneath my door went dark again.

I exhaled in relief, backing away from Haruhi. God, that was far too close for comfort. I didn't even want to imagine the hell my sister would give me if she caught me with a girl, particularly one of the Haruhi Suzumiya variety.

Sitting back on my heels, I glowered at her with every ounce of contempt I possessed. "So, mind telling me just what the hell you're doing here?"

She seemed to be trembling in excitement, which, in hindsight, I should have taken as a sign that this conversation was not going to be a pleasant one. "I'm…" she faltered, taking a moment to compose herself before blurting, "I'm going to run away!"

I could only gape. "You're- what?"

Completely oblivious to my bewilderment, Haruhi let out a squeal of delight. "You'll come with me, won't you? You and me, we could definitely pull it off. Well, you will, won't you? Won't you, Kyon?" She was practically bouncing up and down, leaning so close that our faces were barely inches apart.

I knew that Haruhi's schemes rarely weren't somewhat questionable, but running away the night before graduation? Count me out.

I pushed her away from me, scowling. "Do you have any idea how _absurd_  this is?" Three years of dealing with Haruhi's antics and far-flung propositions had been nothing compared to  _this_. What the hell was she thinking?

Her face fell immediately, only to become a mask of defiance a moment later.

"I have money!" she said defensively. "Enough to last me until I get out to the countryside-"

"The countryside? That's where you're planning to go?" I let out a derisive snort. "Well, go and then, enlighten me! What's the next in the agenda of the great Haruhi Suzumiya?" When all she did was stammer in response, I shook my head. "Just like I thought."

"You are being so unreasonable right now!" Haruhi hissed, clenching her fists.

"Oh, so I'm the unreasonable one now?" I laughed in disbelief. "Imagine that, Haruhi Suzumiya calling  _me_ unreasonable."

"I thought- I thought that, out of everyone,  _you_ would understand." She fidgeted, twisting her sweater around her fingers, as unsure as I had ever seen her. "I thought you were different, Kyon. But in the end, you're just like the rest of them."

"Oh, give me a break!" I scoffed. "Haruhi, your life is here. You're lined up to go to Tokyo U, to have a great career, and now you're throwing it away for your selfish whims? I didn't think the illustrious Haruhi Suzumiya was such a goddamn coward. You know, you'd have a hard time finding someone who wouldn't want to trade-"

"Trade with me, then!" Haruhi shrieked. "Do you think I wanted this, wanted to go traipsing off to Tokyo U because that's what my parents expected me to do?  _My_  will,  _my_ life, controlled by that future I've been bound to since the day I was born?"

And then, suddenly, I understood what Koizumi had meant.

"Go to university, get a decent job, marry some two-faced bastard and have his brats, live in a nice yellow house with blue shutters and pretty upholstery so I can live numbly like that with that stupid glazed smile on my face. So I can be  _happy_." She shook her head, tucking her legs into her chest and gazing out of the window, at the twinkling stars and the airplane bobbing across the sky. Her face was illuminated by a street lamp outside, casting flickering light across her profile, every eyelash distinct against the shadows. "That's my life, Kyon, going through the motions like every other goddamn person on the planet."

Pearly tears were threatening to spill from her eyes. "My parents kept asking me when I would grow up, stop acting like such a child. But really, is wanting adventure so wrong? Because, for the first time in my life, in the club room with the SOS Brigade, with the four of you, I felt like I belonged  _somewhere_. Even if we were just messing around...it was my life meant something, you know? But tomorrow that's all going to come crashing down. Everything I built, all of our adventures...gone."

We sat there in silence, desperately looking anywhere but one other.

"Who says the adventure has to end?"

The words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them.

She blinked the tears out of her eyes. "...what?"

"What do you mean, 'gone?'" I said fiercely. "As far as I'm concerned, as long as you're around, there'll always be some excitement to spread around the world. If you've given up...well, then there's no hope for humanity anymore."

Haruhi let out a choked sob. "But you-"

"No matter what, we'll always be the SOS Brigade, making everyone's lives a bit more interesting every day. Nothing could ever change that in our minds." I managed a small smile. "I can't make the decision for you -it's your life, after all- but if you decide to leave tomorrow...give 'em hell for me, will you?"

And in that moment, sitting with her in the darkness, it felt like we were the only two people in the universe.


	4. Chapter 4

"Kyon!" Asahina shouted from the beverage table, waving me over.

A tidal wave of relief crashed over me. Grateful for an excuse to escape the chokehold grip of my rather affectionate aunt, I strode over to her, giving her a quick one-armed hug."Hey, Asahina-san. I didn't know if we were expecting you today!"

"Yeah, life's been pretty insane lately." She laughed, tucking a strand of auburn hair behind her ear. "Still, I wouldn't miss your graduation for the world!"

Good old Asahina. Always knew just what to say.

"So, how's school?" I asked, scanning the crowd for Haruhi out of my peripheral vision, listening for an outlandish exclamation about aliens and time travelers and espers. Hoping she had stayed.

"Oh, just fine! Busy, but that's the way I like it," Asahina replied, sipping at her coffee. "Oh, that reminds me, I've been working on a new piece lately!"

As she launched into a monologue regarding the nuances of her latest painting over at the art college, I smiled fondly at her, thinking about how much she had changed from the shrinking violet who had tumbled into our corner of the universe that fateful afternoon.

How much all of us had changed.

She leaned towards me, lowering her voice as she said, "So...how's Haruhi doing?"

I shifted nervously from foot to foot. "Well, about that-"

The principal tapped the microphone, announcing, "Will everyone please take their seats? The ceremony will begin shortly."

"Good luck, Kyon!" Asahina lifted her coffee cup to me, and after a moment's hesitation, leaned in to brush a swift kiss against my cheek. Giggling at the astonishment on my face, she flounced off to her seat, flowery skirt billowing behind her.

I trudged over to my assigned seat, still feeling the heat where her lips had touched my skin.

"Will everyone please rise to sing the national anthem?"

Keys jangled, robes swished, and chairs wobbled as we eased to our feet, mumbling along to the music blaring from the speakers. Koizumi waved at me from two rows in front of me, and I managed a grimace in response.

At last, the last of music petered out, and we were finally motioned to sit down.

But still, Haruhi was nowhere to be seen. The seat besides me remained vacant.

"Thank you, everyone. Will Hanekawa-sensei of Class 3-1 please come to the stage?"

Hanekawa-sensei, domineering in a black pantsuit, stood from the faculty area and walked calmly up the stage, all rigid lines and perfect poise; her lips were colored a shocking shade of ruby red. She accepted a list from the principal and began to call out our names in her usual monotony. "Naoko Fujioka!"

"Here!" a girl in the row in front of me shouted in reply.

"Ryuunosuke Taniguchi!"

"Here!"

Name after name was read, drawing closer and closer to when I knew Haruhi's would be called.

And then, finally:

"Haruhi Suzumiya!" Hanekawa-sensei read, glancing up from the paper when only silence was echoed back at her. "Haruhi Suzumiya?" The sea of people seemed to ripple as heads turned, eyes hungrily combing the crowd for a glimpse of her yellow ribbons.

My throat tightened. I clenched my fists, digging my nails into my palms in a last-ditch effort to jolt myself out of this terrible nightmare. When I re-opened my eyes, however, everything came rushing back in agonizing clarity, the realization hitting me with the colossal force of a tsunami wave, more painful than I thought it could ever be.

Haruhi was...gone.

* * *

After the ceremony had ended, I politely extricated myself from my aunt's suffocating embrace, slipping unnoticed out the door. Though I was never the nauseatingly sentimental type - that label went to my sister- lovingly laminating my failed pop quizzes or drying corsages, I found myself wandering into the halls of North High for the last time.

The staircase I had toppled down. The vending machines I frequented during breaks.

As the memories came flooding back, more vivid than ever, Haruhi's face was stark clear in my mind, each and every memory tinged with a little piece of her.

And so, I inevitably wound up where half of my high school life had taken up. The dingy little room where I drank Asahina's tea, played shogi with Koizumi, read books over Nagato's shoulder, and rolled my eyes at Haruhi's latest scheme.

When we all felt young and whole and infinite, like three years was an eternity.

Like those quiet afternoons never had to end.

I halted in the doorway, my bag falling to the ground with a thud.

Because, sitting perched on top of the desk, was a girl.

Haruhi Suzumiya started at the sudden disturbance, whipping around to apprehend the intruder. Upon realizing who it was, however, her rigid features softened. She grinned wryly, waving her fingers in cheeky greeting. "Nice of you to show up, Kyon."

I gaped at her, still paralyzed in shock. "Haruhi? What are you doing here? I thought you'd-"

"Like I could ever leave without saying a proper goodbye." Haruhi smiled sadly, at me, tangles of chocolate hair rippling in the spring breeze.

"Why didn't you come to graduation?" I demanded, finally swallowing that lump in my throat. "You had us all so worried, you know!"

"Oh, that?" Haruhi waved a dismissive hand. "Ceremonies are a pain in the ass. Listening to those awfully cliche speeches quoting pop songs for three hours? No way." She hesitated, before lowering her voice. "I thought about what you said last night, and after talking it over with my parents...I've decided to take a gap year before going to Tokyo U. There are a lot of things I still need to sort out, and I don't think I'll be ready before I do."

She glanced up at me, a little shy, a little uncertain, biting at her lower lip.

"I...no, that's great. I'm happy for you," I said feebly.

"And I...just wanted to thank you." Haruhi looked away. "I don't think I ever did that enough."

"More like not at all," I quipped, before I could stop myself.

Her lips were pulled taut, like she was trying hard not to smile.

"There were times when I forgot I was even part of the human race, but you...you tied me to something real. You were like some sort of sanctuary. A constant. And no matter how many crazy stunts I pulled, no matter how much I kicked and screamed...you stayed by my side. You listened." Taking a moment to steel herself, she looked me straight in the eye, gaze completely unwavering. "So thank you."

Her words struck me speechless.

All of this time...

Haruhi slid off the desk and approached me, her eyes never leaving mine. Standing on tiptoe, she pressed a tremulous kiss to my my temple, before burying her face into my chest, fingers clutching tight to my jacket.

"I'll miss you."

 _Don't leave me_ , her eyes seemed to say.

I wrapped my arms around her, tentatively stroking her hair.

"Yeah. Same here."


End file.
